| Course | WMBA 6695 Communication for Leaders and Managers |
|---|---|
| Week | Week 5 |
| Paper type | Discussion replies |
| Length | About 580 words, 4 pages |
| Format | Discussion reply, APA 7 citations |
| School | Walden University |
| Program | Master of Business Administration (MBA) |
| Updated | October 2026 |
Free sample paper for WMBA 6695 Week 5
Week 5 Discussion: Rewriting a Classmate's Opening for a New Reader
Two Opening Paragraphs Rewritten for Readers Far From the Original: A Cabinet Rollout Memo Recast for Night-Shift Nurses and a Supplier Consolidation Note Recast for the Supplier Losing the Contract
Response to Rachel
New reader: a nurse working nights on 4 West who will open the cabinet at 3 a.m. and was not part of the project.
Your original opening reads: "Phase 2 of the ADC upgrade will go live on 4 West and 5 West on 10/14 following successful UAT. The new biometric workflow replaces the legacy PIN-based authentication and integrates with the eMAR override module per the CPOE governance committee's decision."
Here is the paragraph rewritten for her:
"Starting the night of October 14, the medication cabinets on 4 West and 5 West will open with your fingerprint instead of your PIN. Before then, you need to register your fingerprint at one of the two cabinets on your unit; it takes about two minutes, and a pharmacy technician will be on each unit from 11 p.m. to 1 a.m. on October 10 and 11 to help. If you have not registered by October 14, the cabinet will still accept your PIN for one week."
Three changes did the work. The acronyms ADC, UAT, eMAR and CPOE went, because she would need none of them to open a drawer. The date moved to the first words and became "the night of," since that is when she will meet the change. And the one thing she must do, register her fingerprint, became a direct instruction with a time and a place. Camerer et al. (1989) described how hard it is for people who know something to imagine not knowing it; the original was written from inside the project team's knowledge. Does your memo have a separate version for the night shift, or was this one meant to reach them?
Response to Victor
New reader: the owner of Blue Hollow Produce, the vendor who will lose your restaurant group's account under the consolidation.
Your original opening reads: "To reduce supplier fragmentation and capture volume pricing, we recommend consolidating produce purchasing from four vendors to one primary distributor, yielding projected annual savings of $118,000, or 6.2 percent of produce spend."
Rewritten for him:
"After eleven years of buying produce from Blue Hollow, we have decided to move all our produce purchasing to one large distributor starting January 1. This is a decision about how we buy across all our restaurants, not about the quality of your product or your drivers, which our chefs have praised for years. Your last scheduled delivery will be December 30, and I would like to meet with you this month to talk about the transition and about whether some of our seasonal specialty items could stay with you."
The substitution moved almost everything. The savings figure is gone, since to him it would read as the price of his account. The decision now names the relationship and its length first. "Supplier fragmentation" became "how we buy across all our restaurants," which tells him the cause is not his performance. Shaw et al. (2003) found that explanations matter most after unfavorable outcomes, and this reader gets the most unfavorable outcome in your whole proposal. Kruger et al. (2005) also found that writers overestimate how well their tone comes through in email, so I would send this as a letter and follow with a call. Would your group consider keeping the specialty items with him?
References
Camerer, C., Loewenstein, G., & Weber, M. (1989). The curse of knowledge in economic settings: An experimental analysis. Journal of Political Economy, 97(5), 1232-1254. https://doi.org/10.1086/261651
Kruger, J., Epley, N., Parker, J., & Ng, Z.-W. (2005). Egocentrism over e-mail: Can we communicate as well as we think? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 89(6), 925-936. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.89.6.925
Shaw, J. C., Wild, E., & Colquitt, J. A. (2003). To justify or excuse? A meta-analytic review of the effects of explanations. Journal of Applied Psychology, 88(3), 444-458. https://doi.org/10.1037/0021-9010.88.3.444
Reading the WMBA 6695 Week 5 instructions
The fifth week turns the discussion board into a rewriting workshop. Each reply takes a classmate's opening paragraph, chooses a new reader as different as possible from the original, names that reader in a line and writes a replacement paragraph from scratch. The two versions sit side by side, and a few sentences of commentary name the changes: an acronym dropped, a date moved forward, a request made direct. Swapping one manager for a similar manager produces versions that look alike and earns little, so distance between readers matters. A source from the readings should explain at least one change, and each reply should close by asking the classmate something about their intended audience. Two replies are expected, each long enough to hold both paragraphs and the commentary.
Inside the WMBA 6695 Week 5 example
The first reply fixes its new reader as a night-shift nurse who was not part of the project. It quotes Rachel's opening, with its ADC, UAT, eMAR and CPOE, then rewrites it to lead with the night of October 14, the fingerprint and a two-minute registration with times when help is available. Commentary names three changes and cites Camerer and colleagues on the difficulty of unknowing what you know. The second reply chooses the owner of the produce vendor losing the account. It quotes Victor's savings-focused opening and rewrites it to name eleven years of business, a cause unrelated to quality, a last delivery date and an offer to meet. Commentary explains why the savings figure was removed, citing Shaw and colleagues on explanations and Kruger and colleagues on tone in email.
Reading the WMBA 6695 Week 5 rubric
The replies earn marks when the new reader is visible in the new sentences. A rewrite that could have been written for the original audience shows editing, not substitution, and scores as commentary. Choosing a distant reader is part of the skill, because it forces every assumption in the original to move. The replacement should read as if written for the new reader from the start, without patched phrasing. Commentary is graded on whether it names concrete changes the classmate could reuse, so remarks about tone or flow earn little. Sources should explain a specific change. A closing question that asks about the classmate's actual audience, rather than praising the post, keeps the exchange useful for both writers.
WMBA 6695 Week 5 help from the desk
Read the classmate's paragraph and list every assumption it makes about its reader: vocabulary, urgency, background, relationship. Then choose a reader for whom most of those assumptions fail, and name them in one line. Write the new paragraph without looking at the old one, so you do not carry over its structure. Only then compare the two and list three changes. Replies lose credit for offering suggestions instead of sentences, for choosing a reader too close to the original and for commentary that says the new version is clearer without saying why. Keep both versions short enough to compare at a glance. A model pair of rewriting replies can be prepared if you share the classmates' opening paragraphs you plan to answer.
Get a WMBA 6695 Week 5 example written to your instructions
Paste the classmate posts, the Week 5 prompt and the reply rubric, and two replies with their rewritten paragraphs return inside 24 to 48 hours, free on an opening request. If the section fixes which reader has to be substituted, saying so keeps the samples inside that constraint rather than picking their own.
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WMBA 6695 Week 5 questions, answered
Where can I find a free WMBA 6695 Week 5 sample paper?
You will find both rewriting replies, with their before-and-after paragraphs, on this page, open to everyone.
What readers do the WMBA 6695 Week 5 replies substitute?
A night-shift nurse in place of a project team, and the owner of a vendor losing a contract in place of a finance audience.
Why choose a reader far from the original?
Because a distant reader forces every assumption in the paragraph to change, which makes the rewrite clearly different and the lesson visible.
What changes does the first reply name?
Dropping four acronyms, moving the date to the first words and turning the required action into a direct instruction with a time and place.
Why was the savings figure removed in the second rewrite?
For the vendor losing the account, the savings figure would read as the price of his business, so it served the original reader only.