MLDR 6175 Week 10 Mediator Reflection Example

Silence Read as Agreement: A Mediator's Reflection on One Moment in a Theater Mediation, Climbing the Ladder of Inference Rung by Rung to a Proposal Made Too Early

Student Name

Walden University

MLDR 6175: Managing, Mediating, and Resolving Conflict

Instructor Name

Month Day, Year

Silence Read as Agreement: A Mediator's Reflection on One Moment in a Theater Mediation, Climbing the Ladder of Inference Rung by Rung to a Proposal Made Too Early

The Moment

Forty minutes into the joint session on August 26, Celia Marsh, Lantern Hall's development director, finished her uninterrupted account. She had spoken for about twenty minutes about the sponsor, the board chair and the tour she had promised the sponsor's president. Owen Brandt, our production manager, had spoken for twelve minutes before her, and when she finished he said nothing. He sat back with his arms folded and looked at the calendar printout on the table. After perhaps fifteen seconds, I said: "It sounds like there may be room to move the gala one night later, to the 16th, when the crew has its half day. Would that work for both of you?"

Owen said, "I suppose." Celia said she would need to ask the sponsor. The session moved on, and twenty minutes later Owen asked for a caucus. In it, he told me he felt that I had "already decided" and that the session was "just getting me to agree to something." He did not want to continue that day.

Climbing the Ladder

Argyris (1990) described the ladder of inference: the steps by which people move from observable data to conclusions and actions, usually without noticing the steps. Reconstructing my own climb shows where I left the evidence.

At the bottom rung was what anyone in the room could have observed: a silence of about fifteen seconds, folded arms and Owen looking at the calendar.

On the next rung, I selected from that data. I noticed the silence and the gaze toward the calendar. I did not register that his arms had been folded for most of Celia's account, which might have suggested resistance rather than reflection.

On the third rung, I added meaning. I read the silence as Owen considering her account and finding it reasonable, and the look at the calendar as him searching for a date that might work.

On the fourth, I made an assumption: that Owen had accepted, at least in principle, that the gala could take place during the technical week.

On the fifth, I drew a conclusion: that the session was ready for options, and that I could help by suggesting one.

At the top, I acted. I proposed moving the gala one night later.

The step that failed was the third. Nothing I observed told me what the silence meant. In the intake conversation, Owen had told me that he goes quiet when he is angry and does not want to say something he will regret. I had that information, and I did not use it.

What It Cost

The proposal cost the session most of its remaining time. Owen disengaged, and his "I suppose" was not agreement but resignation. By proposing a date, I also broke the transformative approach I had chosen. Bush and Folger (2005) describe the mediator's role in that approach as supporting the parties' own decision-making; by offering a solution, I took that role away from them. And I signaled to Owen, at the moment he was most uncertain, that I had heard Celia's account as the more persuasive. A second session was needed on September 2, and the first twenty minutes of it went to repairing his trust.

What Went Well

The intake conversations worked. Both heads came to the session knowing what to expect, and Celia, in particular, said afterward that the uninterrupted account was the first time she had explained the sponsor tour to anyone. The caucus also worked as intended: Owen used it to tell me something he would not have said in front of Celia, and I could respond without exposing him.

What I Will Do Next Time

Schön (1983) described reflection-in-action as the practitioner's capacity to notice, during the work, that something is not going as expected and to rethink on the spot. The silence was that moment, and I filled it instead of noticing it. Next time a party goes silent after hearing the other's account, I will wait at least thirty seconds, and then, instead of proposing anything, I will ask: "Owen, you've heard Celia's account. What stood out to you in it?" That question puts the next move back with him, tests my reading of the silence before I act on it and keeps me on the lowest rung of the ladder.

A Wider Lesson

The error was not lack of skill in proposing options but a habit of treating silence as a gap to fill. Mediators, managers and teachers share that habit. Writing down the data, the meaning and the action separately, as I have done here, makes it easier to see which rung I am standing on when I next feel ready to act.

References

Argyris, C. (1990). Overcoming organizational defenses: Facilitating organizational learning. Allyn and Bacon.

Bush, R. A. B., & Folger, J. P. (2005). The promise of mediation: The transformative approach to conflict (Rev. ed.). Jossey-Bass.

Schön, D. A. (1983). The reflective practitioner: How professionals think in action. Basic Books.